When Being Type A Pays Off

Posted on December 31, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

Have you heard of Strengthsfinder?  It’s a personality test that claims to be able to identify what your natural strengths are.  The idea is that we should all be learning to maximize our strengths instead of working on our weaknesses, because we’re never going to be able to turn those weaknesses into strengths.  In any event, one of my strengths is “Strategic,” which Strengthsfinder defines as being able to see clear direction through the complexity of a situation.

I bring this up because this way of thinking or seeing the world came into play earlier this month when I went to Taipei for a two-day workshop on December 11 and 12.  Here’s how the Charlotte Cooper thought process unfolds:

  • There’s no point in going all the way to Asia, staying for two days, and then coming back home.  I’m staying through the weekend.
  • My sister and I are not visiting our parents in Abu Dhabi this year, so I’ll invite my mom to join me.
  • United does not offer a single-stop route from Dallas to Taipei.  I will either have to stop in San Francisco or Denver before stopping again in Tokyo.  Not ideal.
  • I have several friends and clients and prospects in the Bay Area.  I’ll buy a ticket on my dollars to San Francisco and build on a day before and a couple of days after my Taipei trip, then I’ll buy a ticket from San Francisco to Taipei on the client’s dollars.  Yes!  Fun times in San Francisco, and only one, weary stop on the way to and from Taipei.

The workshop started on a Wednesday, but the client recommended that I arrive on Monday to give myself a chance to get over the jet lag.  That meant leaving San Francisco on Sunday, December 9, so I booked my ticket to leave Dallas on Saturday, December 8.  That gave me an evening of fun with friends before leaving for Taiwan.

Do you remember what happened on December 4?  Weather forecasters issued dire warnings for north Texas and nearby parts about massive ice storms.  Here’s the thing.  Weather forecasters often issue dire warnings that turn out not to be in proportion to the weather that follows.  Just a couple of weeks earlier, they forecasted all sorts of terrible, dangerous weather the week of Thanksgiving.  We got cold temperatures and lots of precipitation, but that was it.  So on the morning of Thursday, December 6, I thought we had another case of the meteorologists crying wolf.

And then I got a fateful e-mail from a friend who informed my writing group that Jim Cantore of the Weather Channel had arrived and set up camp in Dallas.  Y’all.  My blood pressure spiked.  When Jim Cantore shows up in your area, horrible, horrible weather follows.  I read the forecasts, and my adrenaline started pumping.  Here’s some more Charlotte Cooper thought process:

  • If what the weather forecasters are saying is true, and it must be because JIM CANTORE is in town, it’s going to rain ice that accumulates inches on the ground starting tomorrow afternoon.  Then we’ll get a little break, and then it’s going to rain ice on us again Friday night and Saturday morning.
  • Holy crap, my flight is not going to take off on Saturday.
  • Holy crap, if my flight does not take off on Saturday, I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT TO TAIPEI FOR MY BUSINESS TRIP.
  • Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap.  I can’t miss my business trip because of stupid weather!
  • I have to leave earlier.  I’m calling United.

I called United, and the agent advised me to leave that day.  I hadn’t even started to think about what I needed to pack for ten days out of town that would mix warm weather in Taipei with cold weather in the Bay Area and business and leisure.  There was no way I could leave Thursday, but I could go into superfast mode and leave on Friday.  The United agent advised me to take the 3:15pm flight on Friday because it was a 747.  This was important for two reasons:  (1) bigger jets have better avionic equipment that allows them to manage through bad weather better, and (2) United owns the bigger jets, and it contracts with smaller, regional carriers for the little jets (the ones where you gate check your bag by the airplane door).  As you might imagine, United prioritizes deicing its own planes before the planes of its contractors.  I had a much better chance of getting out of Dallas on a jumbo jet than a regional jet.

With that done, I reserved a taxi.  I don’t find taxis in Dallas to be reliable, so I asked for an 11am pickup, leaving enough time for the taxi to be late or a no-show and for me to call the taxi company to send another taxi.  I sent an e-mail to my client letting him know that I’d be billing him for a night in San Francisco because of the ice.  He seemed unconcerned.  Then the weather forecasts got even worse and experienced travelers on Facebook laughed at me for thinking I would be leaving town, so I booked a rental car to go from DFW to IAH just in case my rescheduled flight got canceled.  I sent another e-mail to my client informing him of my backup plan, and he laughed at me.  I thought about packing, but the thought of it made me tired, so I decided to wait until the morning.  To justify the procrastination, I made a list of things I needed to pack.  I also made sure I knew where all of these items were (again, more procrastination justification).

And then the ice started in earnest, and the power went out.  I didn’t think anything of it, until I realized that my cell phone, which I also use as an alarm clock, might die before I had to wake up.  I went to post a request for someone to call me in the morning on Facebook, and got reminded that my internet access also requires electricity.  I used precious juice on my phone to make my plea, and then I went to sleep under an extra blanket because the heat in the house also runs on electricity.  Here’s some more Charlotte Cooper thought process:

  • What is that beeping?  What’s beeping at 6:30am?  Hey!  My cell phone still has a little juice!  What is that beeping?
  • Fantastic – the backup batteries on both the phone and the alarm system are low.  One power outage too many.
  • I’m up, so I might as well get ready to go.
  • F*.  No hot water.  Sorry, world, Charlotte Cooper won’t be showering today.
  • F*.  No coffee – the coffee maker won’t work.  There’s cold brew in the fridge, but the power company has no idea how long the power will be out.  I shouldn’t risk opening the fridge or freezer.
  • I should check how bad the ice is.
  • F*.  I’d better have the taxi pick me up at 10.
  • F*.  All the phones in the house are cordless.
  • F*.  I can’t get through to the taxi company.
  • F*.  I’m STILL on hold.  My phone doesn’t have enough battery for this.
  • F*.  They forgot to write that I’m going to the airport.
  • F*.  It’s 10:30am.  I’m going to have to drive myself to the airport.
  • Yay!  The taxi is here!

My taxi driver didn’t speak much English, but he might have been the nicest man in the world.  We survived the scariest taxi ride of my life (which is saying something because I have taken a lot of taxis in my twenty years of working), and I made it to the airport at 11:30am.  The plane took off half an hour late, and we skidded a couple of times going from the gate to the takeoff runway, but I made it to San Francisco in time for dinner, and the rest of my travels to Taipei were smooth as silk.

People think I’m crazy with my backup plans and strategizing, but I’m ok with that.  The fairy tales don’t tell you this, but it’s the OCD planners who get the happy endings they wanted in the first place.

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Great Game

Posted on December 20, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

I learned a hilarious game today at the blog of one of my favorite authors, Jennifer Crusie, who learned it from a librarian who posted in the forums at io9.com.  The game is to guess the iconic movie or book based on one of its one-star reviews at Amazon.com.  Crusie’s point was that as a writer, you have to have thick skin and remember that you can’t please all the people all of the time.  I’m asking you to play the game here because I need to justify the hour I spent procrastinating at Amazon and laughing hysterically as I read one-star reviews.  I’ve copied and pasted these reviews directly from Amazon; the only changes I made were to take out the names of authors or to abridge due to length.  Hit me with your answers in the comments please!

[Also, huge apologies for not posting this week — I have a lot swirling in my head, but I’m having the kind of writer’s block that’s making it difficult to get everything down on paper in an interesting and cogent way.  Please trust me when I say that the later, higher quality product would be preferable to you than the unorganized meanderings I’ve written so far.]

1.  I suppose I am going to be branded narrow-minded and out-of-touch, but I cannot help wondering which people are showing this movie and its sequel to their children without any reservations at all. I, for one, do NOT allow my children to use language like ‘moron’, ‘loser’, ‘dirtbag’ or ‘idiot’, which language is found in this movie by the truckload…. I guess the people who get sucked into buying the movie for their kids won’t mind if their kids interact with one another using language and scenarios like these I mentioned. The minute I began to even suspect that the world of [this movie] and it’s values were going to be reflected in my childrens’ lives, I couldn’t throw the blasted thing out fast enough, and if you want your kids to grow up a little different than the TV-bred cretins around them, you’ll do the same

2.  My son is really into airplanes, so I thought I should let him watch the ultimate plane movie….  Full of awful acting, terrible singing, barfy music …, hokey characters, a bad script, weird cold war antics that never happened (did they?), the film is a B-movie from end to end that should have flopped at the box office.

3.  So sorry. This film is highly acclaimed and probably very good, but I could not get behind it. The wedding scene was interminable. I really don’t like noir and I simply couldn’t find the thread in all those people who kept getting killed. Then, some gorgeous horse gets its head severed and placed in bed with a director who wouldn’t give some family member a starring role. Yuck. I gave up. Just not my kind of movie, but I guess it’s a classic. Whatever.

4.  With so much good American literature around, I really can’t understand how someone can call this a classic. The book is pure cliché and melodrama, from beginning to end. Characters are more like shallow caricatures: there are the good guys, the bad guys, and nothing in-between. Nine-year-olds’ conversations and thoughts are annoyingly unrealistic and the plot is absolutely predictable. Remembers me a piece of propaganda; maybe with a good purpose, but propaganda anyway. Looking for Southern fiction? Stick to Faulkner!

5.  Whatever you do do not read this book. It’s long, it’s really hard to read, and the story just flat out sucks. A lot of people say that this book is packed with meaning, BUT IT’S NOT. [Author] wrote a stupid story about a boy and a slave floating down the mississsippi. THAT SOUNDS REALLY INTERESTING!! Yea right. This book is a big waste of time, it should be out-lawed from our schools, because [author] likes to use the “N” word a lot. This book in my opinion, should get the “Turkey of the Century” award. A big book B-B-Q, should be devoted to all the copies in print.

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Learning

Posted on December 12, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

One of the engagements I’ve taken on in my work is to deliver two-day workshops on leadership and communication skills to a group of folks who have traditionally not been required to have or use them.  It’s an interesting exercise because of the range of reactions in the room.  Some folks are starving for the learning and consume and process the teaching right in front of me.  Others start the two-day sessions fearful and end the sessions fearful.  The source of the fear varies, but I think it all boils down to discomfort with the unknown and an unwillingness to brave that unknown, even with the promise of better days ahead.

So today’s short post is to be grateful to my coach, Kelleen Griffin.  Kelleen has done more in a shorter period of time than anyone else to help me not be afraid of the unknown and to trust in the better days ahead that come from learning difficult, uncomfortable things.  I don’t always act in conformance with what she’s taught at first, but I hope that eventually, after I’ve had some time to think about it and gather courage, that I end up there.  I hope that you all have someone in your life like this, and if you don’t, I’d encourage you to call Kelleen.

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Lessons from Cleon

Posted on December 9, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

Ugh.  Because I am crazy and the things that I need to get out of my head and onto virtual paper could cause safety issues, this week on the blog will be a very light update week.  Like, just a couple of sentences light.  Today’s short, random thoughts will be on how dependent I am on electricity.  The power went out at the house because of the ice storms.  I didn’t panic until I realized the following:  (a) I use my cell phone as my alarm clock; (b) my cell phone drains its battery like ravenous mosquitoes suck blood from their victims, which is why I plug it in as soon as I get home; (c) the heat in the house runs on electricity; (d) all of the phones in the house are cordless so they won’t work during a power outage; and (e) all of my breakfast items are in the refrigerator, which you’re not supposed to open during a power outage to preserve as much of the cold that’s in there as possible.

Y’all.  I don’t know whom I’m kidding when I recruit and plan for my apocalypse teams, when I think Cleon has proven that I am too soft for agrarian society.

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Brushes with Death

Posted on December 6, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

I’ve had two near-misses in my life.  I suspect that we all have more brushes with death than we know.  What makes these two stand out for me is that it took telling other people what happened and seeing the horror dawning on their faces for me to realize just how near the misses were.

My first brush with death occurred the summer between first and second grades (I think), when I was 6.  Both my parents worked, so they needed to put me in some sort of daycare program, but they didn’t want me sitting around and playing all day.  They found a program that offered some summer fun but also had actual classes to keep my reading and math skills fresh.

On one of our swimming days, my classmates and I were waiting outside the pool to be herded, counted, and then marched back to school.  I was chatting with a girl named Lisa near the curb when a brown sedan with four adults sitting in it pulled up.  An older man, who looked like he was someone’s grandpa, rolled down his window and said, “Hey! Come here!”  Being the obedient, trusting, stupid 6-year-old that I was, Continue reading →

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Packing Confessions

Posted on December 2, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

I’ve bragged about being able to pack ten days of clothing into a single carry-on bag.  So it’s only fair that I confess what happened on a recent trip to Austin.  I prefer to fly to Houston and Austin.  I know that it takes less time to drive to these cities from Dallas when you factor in getting to the airport, waiting the hour before the flight leaves, and getting to your friend’s house from the airport.  But as I’ve written before, the other drivers on I-35 and I-45 make me angry, so flying is better for my health.  Also, flying helps me maintain my airline status.

Anyway, I ended up going to Austin for a week, and because Thanksgiving fell during that week, flight prices made flying untenable.  I am not made of money, and while I am a spendthrift, even I have limits.  So I drove.  My plan was to get up at a reasonable time on Saturday morning, 8am, run my errands, pack, and then be on the road by 10am.  That’s not what happened.  I dragged myself out of bed at 10am.  I remembered that I had to have a suit altered before I left so Continue reading →

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Late Thanksgiving

Posted on November 29, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

Here’s what happened to me in a 24-hour period earlier this week:

  • My client came back with feedback within three hours of me sending a deliverable.
  • The cold temperatures caused the pressure in my tires to drop, triggering the display on the dashboard of my car.
  • My friend’s cats whom I am watching while I stay at her house barfed all over the carpet.
  • Because of the tires and the barf, I’m going to be late picking up Thanksgiving lunch for my cousin and me.

And here’s what I thought to myself because part of the 24-hour period happened on Thursday, November 28:

  • I am thrilled (a) that I have clients and (b) that this one is so thoughtful and responsive, which is infinitely better than clients who respond with radio silence or vague feedback that is unfathomable.
  • It is SO GREAT to live in a time when THE CAR tells me it needs air in its tires instead of me driving hither, thither, and yon with not a clue about potential safety issues.
  • I am lucky to have friends who leave me unattended in their homes with a breezy, “Mi casa es su casa, including all the wine,” and trust me to keep their family members alive.
  • I am lucky that I have family with whom to spend the holiday.

I watched on Facebook as several friends listed on a daily basis what they were thankful for during November.  I’ve never done it myself, not because I’m not grateful for my blessings but because I think it requires more comfort than I have with a substantial amount of vulnerability.  Then I watched as people posted snarky comments about how people who spend most of the year complaining on Facebook turn thankful for a single month.

I didn’t say anything, because I guess there’s a grain of truth in that sentiment, but that shit pissed me off.  Sorry for the language.  What’s the harm in taking some time each day to remember how blessed we are?  Even if it’s only one month out of a year, is it so offensive to the rampant cynics out there that they have to make their arch arrogance known and felt and insult people who are trying to recapture some grace in their own lives?

It’s late, but here’s my late Thanksgiving list of 30.  If you have a Grinch heart, I hope it grows three sizes before the end of the year.

  1. My parents – it took so long for me to understand my parents.  I’m grateful the universe gave me the time to get there and hope it gives me a lot more time to laugh with them.
  2. My sister – she is a living lesson in perseverance and efficiency.  Even though our dispositions and personalities are so different, having her in my life makes my perspective on the world richer.
  3. Extended family – relatives confirm that you are not isolated in your crazy, plus, they often make the best friends because of shared, common experiences.
  4. Friends – I am SO LUCKY to have the friends I do.  They are all smart and fun with wicked senses of humor and the warmest and tenderest of hearts.  I learn how to be a better, more patient person with every interaction.  I also learn a lot about how to be evil in a completely hilarious, harmless way.  Win-win!
  5. My past – I think I’m about to be in a good place in my career in small part because of my accomplishments but in greater part because of my mistakes.  I’m looking forward to making more of them.
  6. Online dating – it’s a total nightmare, but I get a lot of stories from it. 
  7. United Airlines – it’s not the greatest airline ever, but it’s not the worst, either, and because of the perks they extend for 100,000 miles of loyalty, I’ve had the opportunity to travel to faraway places in relative comfort and, if I’m honest, with a totally smug attitude about how special I am.  I try to keep the gloating to myself and any travel companions.  Apologies to anyone else who gets exposed to this ugly part of my personality.
  8. Starwood Hotels – I will argue that Starwood is the greatest hotel chain ever.  I get upgraded into ridiculous suites at gorgeous hotels in some of the greatest cities in the world.  I often sleep better at these hotels than I do at home.  Sad, but true story.
  9. Person of Interest – it’s hard to explain how nice it is to see both men and women with agency and intelligence on a screen.  It reflects my experience with work and friends, but I’ve discovered in the last few years that my experience is rare.
  10. Uniball Vision Elite pens – they suit my handwriting to a tee, and they don’t explode on planes.  Yay!
  11. My friends’ children – I’ve written before about my offspring situation; my friends are generous in sharing their kids and the depth and richness and noise and mess and irritation they bring to our lives.
  12. Travel – I think we’d all be more patient with each other if we spent more time not at home, in all incarnations of that word:  our houses, neighborhoods, cities, states, countries, continents.  It’s hard to broaden your perspective without practice. 
  13. Rye – you can’t make Sazeracs without it.  Also, I like that it’s spicier and less sweet than bourbon.
  14. Bourbon – dudes, it’s still delicious.
  15. Pistachios – without them, I would be violating my new dietary requirements on a daily basis at 3pm with Cool Ranch Doritos.
  16. Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos – I have only eaten them once as my weekly cheat meal, and they were totally worth it.
  17. Stevia – occasionally, I want my coffee or tea to be sweet, and stevia lets me make it that way without messing with my blood sugar levels like other sugar substitutes do.
  18. Butter – that is all.
  19. Zappos – I love them and their products and how easy it is to find knee-high boots that will fit around my gigantic calves.
  20. Skype – this and Facetime are total science fiction come to life, but it makes faraway friends seem not so far away. 
  21. Facebook – I know what the experts say about Facebook, and I will confess to not being diligent enough to tend to my relationships with friends who are not on Facebook.  That said, I have many, many, many friends with whom I have stayed or even become close BECAUSE of Facebook, so even though I think the management team is douche-y, I think they make a great product.
  22. National chains – yes, they have committed many sins, but it’s a comfort to know that if I forget something on a domestic trip, it’s not a big deal, because this is America, and you can always find what you need at a store within ten miles of your location.
  23. Fleece and flannel pajamas – they almost make me want to move somewhere cold.  Almost.
  24. Streaming video – this is also science fiction.  I have the option to watch PoI on my computer, on my Kindle Fire, and on my cell phone because of it.  Not that it’s awful to have to watch something on a large TV while sitting on a couch….
  25. Kindles in all incarnations – I used to have to make the choice between clothing or books when I traveled abroad, and I used to have to check a gigantic suitcase when I was unable to make the choice.  Now, I can get all my clothes in a carry on because every book, magazine, tv show, movie, etc. is all on one, tiny book-sized device.  We live in a wondrous age that is saving our backs.
  26. Cruciferous vegetables – my new favorites:  so easy to roast and so healthful. 
  27. The United States of America – we have so many problems, it’s true, but we get to have dialogues about those problems and criticize our leaders and not worry about getting arrested and disappearing in a secret prison. 
  28. My Korean heritage – I get to pick and choose what I want to incorporate into my life from each culture from a perspective of genuine understanding.  It’s not easy to immerse yourself in other cultures, and it was an accident of birth that I got the chance, and I think it has enriched my life beyond measure.
  29. Caffeine – I’m pretty sure I would still be in bed without it.
  30. My health – it’s not perfect, but it’s good enough for me to enjoy the holidays in moderation and to travel the world and pay my bills.  Given the way I used to eat and never exercise, I’m lucky to be where I am.

Hope y’all had a great Thanksgiving and are warming your hearts with loved ones.  

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No Strong Feelings?

Posted on November 25, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

In noting that I surprised myself with strong feelings about cold brew coffee, my friend Dan asked, gently, for a list of things about which I do not have strong feelings.  This was a few weeks ago, and I have been struggling with this ever since.  Now, in my defense, it’s difficult to think of things that you don’t care about.  Try it.  I’ll give you a couple of minutes.  It’s the nature of things that you don’t care about not to be sitting in your brain waiting to be called up, which makes it a good brain exercise (that’s what I’m claiming anyway). So here’s my attempt at listing things about which I do not have strong feelings:

  • Ending sentences with prepositions.  I try not to do it, but if it happens, whatever.  I read an article a while back that went into the history of the rule, and it turns out that the rule has been arbitrary and random since its inception.  If there’s no good reason for it, like clarity in communication, I can let it go.
  • How people rear and educate their children.  I do not have children.  Teaching them how to become decent, productive members Continue reading →
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More Dribs and Drabs

Posted on November 22, 2013 by travelfoodandlife
  • Yes, I’m late again, not because of PoI this time, though (I only have about ten new episodes to watch in the second season, so I’m hoarding them).  I was in Ft. Wayne, IN from Monday to Thursday getting ready for and delivering a workshop.  It was my first time visiting Indiana.  I didn’t get to experience much of the city because it was a work trip, but what I saw struck me as really pleasant.  From the few conversations I had with the locals, life in Ft. Wayne is quiet and manageable.  If you want to raise your kids at a slower pace and want them to experience whatever last vestiges of life that Norman Rockwell used to depict, Ft. Wayne is probably a good place to do it.  There’s definitely more breathing room here than in any of the cities where I’ve lived, except maybe for Idaho Falls.
  • I stopped at Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods to pick up milk and other groceries.  Because of some unevenness in travel, I only wanted the equivalent of a couple of those cartons of milk I used to get at lunch time in elementary school, but they are more difficult to Continue reading →
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When Lying Backfires

Posted on November 18, 2013 by travelfoodandlife

I’m a good liar.  It’s a function of having overprotective, conservative, old-school, immigrant parents and wanting to have a social life outside the house.  The thing that saves me from being one of the worst humans on the planet, though, is that I hate lying and liars, so I rarely tell lies.  One of the most endearing moments of my parents’ marriage came when my sister wanted to surprise my dad with a visit home, which necessitated a switch in cars (which resulted in my dad wrecking my car).  My mother paced back and forth between my room and her room, trying to find a way to explain why I needed the SUV that didn’t give away the surprise.  I asked her why she was so nervous, and she said it was because she couldn’t lie to my dad.  Not “wouldn’t,” but “couldn’t.”  It underlined for me that they’re actively on the same team.

My dad’s been in town, and my sister arranged to come home for the weekend.  As usual, because she loves both surprising and being surprised, she asked Mom and me to keep it a secret.  On the day her flight left, she reiterated the need not Continue reading →

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