Quick Matchmaker Update

Apologies for the absences – Mama Cooper has been extending her stay, and the longer she stays, the less she can resist interrupting me during the day.  I can’t write in 15-20 minute chunks; more importantly, I can’t think in 15-20 minute chunks.  I am behind on EVERYTHING.

The matchmaker has finally located a couple of matches, one within a 20 mile radius of me and one further away.  He’s given my contact information to both, so please keep your fingers crossed that things go well.

While I was chatting with the matchmaker, I asked him what kinds of questions he asked men to determine whether they are flexible when it comes to male/female roles in relationships (e.g., women can make more than their partners and it’s not weird or wrong) and not just paying lip service.  My friend M, who lives in the DC area, pointed out that if you asked 100 men in the 202/703/301 area codes that question outright, 99 of them would say, “Of course that’s ok,” even if deep down they didn’t believe it, because that’s the socially acceptable answer.

The matchmaker said that M is correct – you can’t ask the question outright.  You have to ask other, neutral questions that allow people to reveal themselves.  He said starting a neutral conversation about the Ray Rice situation is an excellent way to find out what people think.  Finding out what a man truly thinks about Ray McDonald in San Francisco is another opportunity.  Does he realize that Barney Stinson’s “hot/crazy” scale is funny because Barney is gross, or does he think that the “hot/crazy” scale is funny because it’s true?

He said that one of the easiest ways to weed these men out, though, is to look at their ages and compare them against the age ranges of the women they’re looking for.  Be wary of men not willing to date women their own age.  Sure, some of that comes down to fertility if the man wants kids, but according to the matchmaker, a man not willing to date someone his age or even a little older is a big, red flag.  They’re specifically looking for someone who won’t challenge them.

I’m supposed to talk to the local guy tonight.  I’ll keep you posted.  In the meantime, you can help me decide whether to be encouraged by Roger Goodell’s pledge to be tougher on domestic violence in light of the video that’s come out of Rice full on socking his fiancée in the face.

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